I gave this dude off tinder my number and all he’s done is send me pictures of his rock collection and it’s the best thing that’s ever come out of tinder tbh
it really is next to impossible to write realistic sibling dialogue, I just passed my brother on the stairs and instead of greeting each other like human beings I said ‘born survivor’ and he said ‘youtube rewind. let’s set it to rewind.’ like you ain’t gonna find that shit in a novel
Kind of sucks that i am not living in an ivy-covered cottage in the pacific northwest, drinking mint tea with honey,, riding my bike into town for the groceries and spending my day writing novels on a mossy tree stump with a cool breeze making the pine needles go sssssshhhhhh,,,,,,,
ABBA goes so hard in so many different ways like they really have a song for every situation.. breaking up? getting married? defeating the french? Finding out you have not one but three possible fathers??? Really they covered everything
bro this new workout is going to get me so ripped bro. i’m going to get so shredded bro. into little tiny ripped pieces. there won’t be enough of me for the police to identify bro
A while back I heard my friend (male) insult another dude by saying, “You look like the kind of guy who wouldn’t go to Wal-Mart to buy his girlfriend a box of tampons” and I still think about that crowning insult sometimes
My dad once called another guy “someone who thinks loading the dishwasher once in a while makes him less of a man”
I like your dad already
one time my dad’s boss was giving him shit for always leaving work early so he could get home and help my mom with me when i was a newborn and his boss said “i’ve never changed a diaper in my life” really proudly and my dad responded “i’d be ashamed to ever admit i was that worthless of a husband”
